I dont celebrate christmas as normal people do. For me it's just an ordinary day and this holiday season is really different since there are noticeably less decor and less jolly celebrations, maybe people have finally realized how ridiculously expensive it is to splurge during this time of the year, or maybe there isnt really much to spend with. (damn you economic crisis!)

There are people who wishes me MERRY CHRISTMAS and personally, im a little uncomfortable with it since im not a person who greets everyone. When i do, most of the time its just because it is the polite thing to do and my friends may have noticed it since i dont greet them on birthdays or other special days. hehe (im a badass i know)

Let me use what George said to Callie (grey's anatomy) why he didnt say i love you back because basically this is one of the reason why i dont greet. Its not the same but somehow it kinda explains it.

"I didnt say i love you because i dont think it is the right time to say it but it doesnt mean i dont love you or i love you less than what you want from me. You just have to allow me to mean it coz if i said i love you now, i will be saying it because you want me to say it not because i mean it."

but let me clear this. I appreciate people who have greeted me. so thanks guys. >specially to Geisha and Nap< and for those who didnt, its not a big deal really and i hope that you dont take it against me if i didnt greet you.

Also, allow me to just say this. I know i've said that im agnostic but it bugs me when people send "Merry X-mas"  because i feel like Christ is excised out of the actual christmas greeting. X is used to denote an unknown of unnamed variable but everyone knows Christ so just out of respect to the guy, Let's use his name. I am not Catholic and this is not a religious request. maybe this is a religious tolerance request.

Upon, further research, I've found out that the Greek alphabet X called CHI (pronounced as KHI) is also a symbol for Christ (Christ is spelled as Χριστος in greek) and some people even consider X as a symbol for honoring the martyrs and X also represents the cross so i guess my XMAS is ok so disregard my request and send all XMAS greetings you want because i am a change person because i acquired knowledge and im open to change my views, i hope the churches and narrow minded people do the same and be open to the possibility that their reality may not be the same with others.

BTW just added info. The LABARUM. (Seen below) is a christian symbol representing christ and is a combination of the greek letter chi and rho.

 Ok i better stop because im becoming a nerd again. hehe. i need to get a life.

I quit my job last AUG and i finalized my withdrawal from the company on NOV (yes im that lazy) I thought that my final pay would be given to me after three months but last Dec 19th, i went to the company out of whim and i was told that my check (or as my australian friend says CHEQUE) will be available on DEC 23rd. Just in time coz i am really broke. Then i realized there is a long bank holiday because of christmas and new year so i have to endure the holidays eating scraps of cheese and a small loaf of bread.

Oh well. I will be able to cash it in by january and this money will be spend paying bills, so im not in any way afluent.

I may show off as a dumb stereotypical blonde with superficial goals in life and i may only seem to care about men's validation that im a hot chick who needs attention but i am so much more than that. I may not be as smart and talented as The hell you care or as eloquent as Geisha but i know myself and even with the enormous and overwhelming fears that i have. I have something firm inside me that i know will be steadfast regardless of what fuck up things that may happen.

I recently recieved an email from a guy. He initialy asked me if i am a tranny which is the truth but somehow it still manages to hit a nerve within me so i asked him where did he found my email. He said that he is a friend of my beautiful bestfriend and that he has been wanting to ask her out for a while but cant find the courage to do so. I told him i dont meddle with my friends dating decisions. He obnoxiously told me that i can just say in passing that he wanted to date her so she can be ready when he actually ask her out. This irked me because all my life, people have been trying to be nice to me so that they can make a pass with my pretty friend. (of course, all my friends are pretty since beauty attracts beauty)

DO I FUCKING LOOK LIKE A PIMP?

So i said sorry and told him i wont do it then he said "ok. I've heard that trannys are mean" that's when i lose it so i send him a massage.

Yes, Trannies can be mean to obnoxious guys but since i sense some sort of desparation from you because a confident man wouldnt ask a total stranger just to date someone, I will tell my bestfriend about you and how you seem to be intimidated easily and give her all the details of this wonderful conversation and how it went.

then he sent this reply. "oh so you are her bestfriend. Well you seem to be so smart and i base this observation from the emails you have sent me. Have you had womanizing surgeries? Take care mwuah.  

Talk about damage control.

"Dont patronize me, asshole!" but i decided not to justify his email and deleted it right away.

 Another man added me to his friends list and i can tell that we've talked before and that i have deleted him from my list the first time we've talked. He started to say how wonderful my pics are and that i seem to be the right kind of girl for him. (talk about being cocky, didnt it ever occur to him that HE MAY NOT THE THE RIGHT KIND GUY FOR ME?) but i let it pass. I reminded him that im a transgendered woman and he immediately said that he is very interested with me and that he had never met anyone like me but nonetheless he is very curious of what may happen between us. All his massages have sexual undertones so i told him that i remember deleting him from my list and he immediately apologized and said that he is new to this and that he doesnt know how to treat a woman like me since he doesnt have prior experience. Word of Advise moron. I am not a special woman who needs extra treatment. If you dont know how to treat a person, regardless what gender or sexuality they have, "YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW TO TREAT SOMEBODY" I started to diss hi off since talking to him is obviously a waste of my time. he then asked why do i have to "attack" him. I explained to him why. I explained to him that the moment he heard "transgendered", he automatically assume that it is ok for him to disrespect me. that somehow my transgenderism is a permit for him to totally lose decency and start being vulgar. He said sorry and that he will keep everything in mind.

I am not prube and i am definitely not pure but i expect more, I definitely deserves some courtesy and deference. 

So please. Dont talk to me when you're using your DUMB STICK because condescening words and sweet talk cannot cloak your intentions from me

I've been checking out youtube for the longest time to get info and ideas (knowledge gathering) and i particularly love THE VIEW specially when whoopi says her views on issue. One significant point she pointed out "How come it's taking us too long" to accept things that other countries have accepted years ago? And this made me realize. why the hell is it taking everyone to accept things that is right in front of us?

Case in point:

• Very recently, Prop 8 received majority vote in california that bans gay marriage. A highly controversial proposition since they spent $35 million to twist all the facts about the legality of gay marriage and instill fear to those uninformed. Millions that could have alleviated hungry mouths but who cares right?, so long as marriage is between a man and a woman. One propaganda says that once gay marriage is legalize, A priest or church official will be jailed or sued if marriage rights are refused to gay couples. (because under the anti discrimination law, No church can discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or they can lose tax exemption, penalize or even imprisoned) but upon checking, Church has always been protected from any lawsuits and this is ON THE FIRST AMENDMENT TO THE US CONSTITUTION that says no law will be passed that disrespects established religion, so if they dont believe in homosexuality then it is their prerogative not to recognize same sex marriage.

• 2nd propaganda says that once same sex marriage is allowed. Schools will begin to teach Homosexuality or that this will be discussed in classrooms even on elementary schools which is really absurd since homosexuality is not and never has been taught. Homosexuality is naturally occurring and no homosexual can teach a heterosexual to be attracted to the same sex. Recent US and Australian Studies says that they may have found a genetic source or biological reasons why a person becomes homosexual or transgendered. (US RESEARCH HERE and AUSTRALIAN RESEARCH HERE) Of course children will always be curious and will ask why a man/woman marries another man/woman. Why cant they just say that this is because they love each other and they wanna live together as a lawfully recognized partners?" Wouldnt this be a better answer that foster not only tolerance but acceptance? but no. The archaic and primitive intelligent people think that this will spread homosexuality and life on earth will be condemned and doomed to the bowels of hell.
• The Vatican recently said that they will oppose a french initiated UN proposition that calls all governments worldwide to di-criminalize Homosexuality coz they fear that once this is passed. Homosexuality will be the new trend or way of life and that people, groups, organizations, countries and entire religions will be pressured to accept the sinful ways of homosexuality. The mighty Catholic church who has always been the protector of life is willing to close their eyes to the fact that millions of homosexual persecution is happening all over the world so whose life are we protecting now? if this proposition is passed. The church will not tumble down to its ruins but more lives will be spared from ignorance driven fears.

Because i love tapsiboy so much. i decided to do this for him.

TAPS WAS HERE!