I've talked about my wishes of being a whore, tramp, promiscous young lady. This came about when i had the biggest heartbreak of mylife, and as a sign of rebellion and to get even i wanted to flirt till the ends of the world and use my sexuality for my advantage. Needless to say i did explore my potential and alot of europian, american, latinos and arabs started flooding me with their intentions.

But my conservative "MANANG" won againts my liberated NICKY again. I can really never be with someone im not comfortable with. There's really one man i know that i can really share intimacy with. 

Sorry but i think i'm gonna wait till next year before i actually start experiencing my sensuality.

i love my life. it's getting so fucked up. hahaha. i wish i was a whore!

a skanky, filthy, slut and a tramp. hahaha. give me money and i'll give you pleasure.

give me money and i'll be your bitch.  (as if?)

After working in the day shift forever, Management finally decided to use it's resources for something more productive. ergo some of use are transferring to a new account. Its 24 hrs service window account but we first need to retrain and the only schedule for training is 10pm to 7 am. GY!!!!!! waaah. How in hell can i manage my time for sleep, work and school?

actually i think i can manage although saturday would pose a big problem for me since i have whole day class from 8am to 5pm so i think after a week i'll die from exhoustion and lack of sleep.

oh well! the only thing that causes me to fret is our usual after class dinner.

and with this schedule we wont be able to do that anymore. huhuhu

After feeling beat up for months now, i really needed a break from my chaotic and pscyhotic life. Good thing my good friend lr finally came back from his month long hibernation (READ: hiding from me)

I must admit, he looks good compared the last time i saw him.

i never thought that we'd have this chance to see each other again but im glad that we did.

we talked about the usual stuff, he's bloopers, funny things and all the fun stuff.

although sometimes i wish we talk about other things, things that matters coz it kinda gets boring and completely cyclical.

but nevertheless, i had fun, and i really needed someone to bring back my smile

till next time.

With my current state of mind. i am easily distracted and i am vulnerable to change my mind and make drastic decisions so to try to steer away from seduction and infidelity.

My man and i have been having problems with communication and contingency recently and my insecurities and craziness always get above my thinking brain. This is such a dangerous time for me so i deleted my myspace account and tried to detach myself from other men.

BUT GOD, HOW CAN I THINK STRAIGHT IF I HAVE THIS IN MY FACE?

I love you SCOTT SPEEDMAN.

this is all paul's fault.

He introduced to the the underworld series and that's where i saw scott.

I had a previous entry about caucasian men that im attracted to but after seeing scott. i can surely say that he embodies the kind of guy that i wouldnt mind replacing my current man with, hehehe.

he can really look like a boy next door, a plain joe

or one hot amazing guy

Oh Scott Mary me.

GLORIETA DAYBOMBING cannot deter us from having fun.

After our home management (where we were tasked to clean the fuc*ing toilet).

 My Classmates and i planned to watch a movie at galleria.  

We chance upon the children's playground near the movie house and we simply cannot resist.

They shoot hoops and punch aliens and catch balls and we all had a great time. I never tried any coz i know i'll just cry if i dont get it right.

Haays! I WISH I HAD MY BOYFRIEND WITH ME~

ooopppppsssss

eerr. i wish a had a boyfriend! hehehe

I kiiled my love. the one thing i hold dear in this life has ceased to exist

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Dont worry baby! mommy will take care of you!

It's been 3 months since paul came to our class and as the days went by we've grown comfortable with each other that we began horsing around and pestering each other almost every minute everyday. I must admit though that sometimes i cant take his sneers and his childish behavior but im sure all his vexing and picking on me is just part of his all around fondness on me.I just wish he lessens his peevish attitude that irks me. (although i havent told you that i equally annoy him.)

And because of our playful nature, I was weearing a short skirt and i carelessly cut myself somewhere.

A former classmate told me that he is leaving the company for a better oppurtunity outside and being the emotional junkie that i am, I am sad to think that he is leaving coz i used to go to his office everyday so we could go home together, He lives near my place.

That bastard, in all the months that he had worked for the company, he never took me out to dinner or something. He promised he would take me out to dinner the first time i saw in the office hallway. HUMMMNNN i better remind him of that!

here are my previous blog entries about my good friend feugene.

ONE

TWO

THREE

What does one do when one is no longer happy?

When simply ignoring things and looking at the bright side helps no more?

When there is now work when there wasnt any before?

When learning used to be fun now its a burden bestowed

What a void life this turned out to be.

How can i break free?

Look at me,

I am smiling but i'm not happy.