I recently went out with my EX and we decided to go to malate. After 4 years of not seeing each other we agreed to meet to check up on one another and to just hang around and have a good time. It was a date 2 months in the making because both of us were so busy and our schedule cant seem to meet. The day finally came and i was such a wreck with nerves of anticipation, excitement and a little bit of unease. perhaps im dreading that he would find me not attractive or less of what i was before. A funny thing and embarrasing event happened when i reached our meeting place, i though a guy waiting was my ex. So as i was walking towards him. I give out a big smile and a welcoming gesture. to bad it wasnt him so i just decided to pass over him and pretended to see someone i know. SHUCKS~ i felt so stupid.

At first both of us are were so uncomfortable and we even made unwise remarks about each other.Trying to be funny and casual but of course that didnt work it just made the night more uncomfortable. but as the night went by, familiar feelings and ease started to grow on both of us. I realized our connection was more mature and substantial. We started to joke about our moments together, our plans and hope for the future. and even those unforgetable experiences. After our fill of little booze, He offered to take me home. of course i figured intimacy will be next. however i just cant throw myself to him thinking that it could be consider our first date plus he shared that he has a girlfriend already. although he said that it's not as serious as i think it is but still thinking someone else is making him happy was a bit to much to handle. There were hints of longing and nostalgia of what we did in the same room that we were in but i figured it wasnt just the right time for emotions to flow. overall. our date was enjoyabble and i cant wait for the next one.

Pag pumasok ang NOV, simula na yun ng sunod sunod na celebration. Nanjan ang PISTA ng PATAY, Which i never get to celebrate the way i want. Tpos ANNIV ko pag DEC 19. Christmas season and Siempre NEW YEAR. tpos lastly siempre celebration ng STO. NIÑO FIESTA. All of these celebrations i spent alone or perhaps single. Although pangarap ko parin na maranasan tong mga to with someone special pero wla nman ako magagawa kundi enjoyin nalang ang single blessedness ko. with all these special occassions, i never fail to feel sad pero kung tutuusin sobra rin nman akong mageenjoy eh. Perhaps i'm always looking at the big picture that's why i always miss the things that would make me feel im alright being single.  During these occasions, I was pretty and stunning, Someone even made me feel so special by making sure i notice him, well he's pretty eye cathing to start with so talagang napansin ko sha, and i intend to know more about him. Sana this is a start of a new blog chapter about my boys. And this time hindi sha involved sa work ko, SHEET just thinking of him makes me WANNA~ UHMMMM!

Ang daming dumaan, HALLOWEEN, YEAR END PARTY, CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR,.  Wala lang dumaan lang sha. Nung halloween, isa sa mga pangarap ko sa buhay eh meron makasama sa pagpunta sa sementeryo, ewan ko ba feeling ko magiging sobrang saya ako pag meron ako kadate nun, pero as expected. I went there alone. Sa YEAR END PARTY, I wanted to be shockingly gorgeous, although i kindda achieved that, pero yung balak ko na mahug halos lahat ng lalaken maging parte ng buhay ko eh hindi rin natuloy. Isa lang nahug ko nun hindi pa feel. Christmas came, Wla lang d2 lang sa office. although nsa office din yung isa kong crush pero it didnt mean anything since, again! wala lang nman yun. It has been my practice to be glamorous during new year's eve. Although i believe i was, wala nman pumansin sakin. tpos ang ka date ko pa eh yung officemate ko na gurl! ano nman ang gagawin ko dun diba, hehehe. The start of my year has not been good, 1st nalate ako, so parang im always late coming to work. Tpos i didnt feel quite celebrated that day dahil natabunan na naman ako ng friend ko na sobrang gorgeous. So here comes the answer to my pathetic and boring life, My account would be transferring to baguio, Its a pretty challenging and exciting change, pero siempre im still afraid of that huge change, tpos malapit na raw magkaron ng opening for supervisor position. and everyone is vying for me to apply for that. One of my inspiration recently went through a break-up and admittinglyi saw that as an oppurtunity for us perhaps to rekindle what we had pero sabi nga nila, what is lost is lost. and try as i might, i'll never find that again, tpos eto na nman, another special person in my life would possible be transferred to a different account. AYOKO sana pero meron ba ako magagawa? siempre iyak nlang ako and try to live my life the way i have always been living it, alone and accepting of the loneliness that it entails.